Facing the facts
by Olivia Solar
Summary: Trip needs someone to talk to, but Archer doesn't even seem to understand what he's going through.Please review! NOW IMPROVED! Chapter 12 is up, and Archer needs to set things straight in his friendship with Trip.
1. Chapter 1

**Facing the facts. **

**I do not own any of the characters ect. **

**Sumary:Trip needs someone to talk to, but Arcger doesn't even seem to understand what he's going through.**

**Chapter one.**

I can't believe you expect us to get along with him!"

"Trip! We need his help. I'm not too happy trusting him either but you should know that he can influence the council's decision."

"How can you trust him!

"He's all we have right now, and we don't have much time!

"Well my gut tells me he's gonna make things worse!"

"He's helped us so far!"

"Oh, and that makes up for all those people he killed then is it?"

"Trip!"

"Seven million Cap'n, seven million dead! Did he do anything to stop that? No!"

"Commander."

"What makes you think he wants to stop this one?"

"Commander you are dismissed!"

"Fine, just don't expect me to do much work with him!"

Trip stormed down the corridor, he didn't even notice when he bumped into a rather confused T'pol.

"Trip?"

He carried on walking.

"Trip!"

"Oh, sorry." He finally acknowledged her existence.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

She raised her eyebrows. She knew him too well to be fooled.

"Cap'n wants me to work with Degra."

She looked at him, trying to wander what to make of this human.

"His intentions appear to be good."

Trip just looked at her. "Not you too?" He turned to leave, unable to argue it all again. But T'pol wasn't going to let it go that easily. "Trip."

He stopped. "7ooo ooo." He thought he should remind her. Everyone had been so caught up with this council meeting that they had forgotten what had happened on Earth, to his sister.

"I know the facts, but this alliance could be our only way, you trust Captain Archer?"

"Off cause I do but……"

He didn't have to finish his sentence. T'pol knew, as much as Trip wanted to avoid the matter, the death of his sister had affected him greatly.

Trip sighed, maybe he had been a little hard on Jon, but then Jon didn't exactly go easy himself. Didn't he even understand why Trip didn't want to work with this Xindi?

"Goodnight T'pol."

T'pol watch him walk away. Why does he refuse to talk to anyone about the matter? Maybe she needed a word with the Captain. He and Trip were supposed to be best friends anyway, and if there's anyone who could get through to Trip, it should be him.


	2. Chapter 2

Top of Form 1

**Facing the Facts.**

**Summary: Trip needs someone to talk to, but Archer doesn't even seem to understand what he's going through! Based during season 3. Chapter 2 is now up!**

**Please review! Advice is welcome, I need to learn.**

**Sorry it's another short chapter, but I'm swamped with school work at the moment (GCSE'S soon….panic!)**

**Chapter 2.**

Trip sat in the mess hall, staring at his coffee. He couldn't get to sleep, not with those nightmares. T'pol had helped but now there simply wasn't time. He needed to get back to work, but his whole body ached and he was so exhausted he felt as though he was going to collapse at any minute. Besides, his shift shouldn't start for another 2 hours. Then again, when they entered The Expanse, there was no such thing as shifts, just work work work. Also it could mean having to work with Degra, something he wasn't prepared to do. He wanted to save Earth, but how did they know they could trust this man? Working with the person who had helped to kill Lizzie was just out of the question!

"May I join you?" Trip looked up at Lt.Reed, and nodded at an empty seat as an invitation.

Malcolm noticed that yet again, Trip was just having coffee. "No wonder you can't sleep." He indicated the drink held in the Commander's hands. "With the amount of caffeine you drink you should have this ship fixed in no time!" He smiled, it was the kind of comment Trip would usually make, but recently, Trip just wasn't himself. He missed the old jolly, maybe even clumsy Trip. Even the spark of excitement and adventure in his eyes- which had encouraged the crew so often- was gone. It hurt him to see his friend like this.  
"You need to eat." He was serious now. "You can't survive on that forever, you're going to collapse!"

Trip just rolled his eyes. He didn't need another lecture.

"When was the last time you slept?"

"What are you doing up so late?" he asked, trying to take the subject off him.

"Need to make sure the weapons are on line Can't afford to loose them again, we need to get them back up to 100 if we're going to go ahead with the plan. You?"

"Ship's falling apart. I wanna at least try to stop that." He smiled, he didn't like people seeing him down like this. "Talking about work, I need to go."

"Isn't Degra helping you?" During the silence that followed however, Malcolm had wished he never asked. He now realised what had been bothering the engineer so much.

"My team are good enough."

"Trip."

No response.

"Trip!"

The Commander spun round on his heals. "What! Are you planning to give me a lecture about trust? Well, you're too late; I've already had it twice today so I don't need to hear about it from you!"

Malcolm was taken aback from this sudden outbreak. Trip was on edge, that was clear.

"Sorry" Trip muttered, seeing the hurt look in his friend's eyes. "I'd better go."

Malcolm sat there for a while, just staring at the doors. Trip needed someone to talk to, the Xindi war was hard on them all, but Trip had lost someone close to him. He couldn't even imagine what Trip must be going through, and yet, he shut them all out. What about the Captain? They always got along well, but, then again, recently, they had been occupied. Someone had to talk to Trip, but if not him, or Archer, then who?

Top of Form 3


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

Trip walked into engineering, doing the best he could to ignore the others staring at him. They all knew he hated Degra, and had heard of his argument with the Captain (some directly from outside) He felt as though their eyes were burning right through him. He made it to his desk and looked at a list of jobs. Easy. He could manage fine without Degra! He looked at his crew, and thought he saw a few suddenly divert their gaze from him, trying to look innocent. "Caught ya red handed" he smiled to him self. They were good, and he knew they wouldn't mention it to him. You couldn't really blame them to be curious. They could do this!

He walked up the ladder to the warp engine, needing to take his mind off previous events during the day. He loved his job, at least that still stood, then again, maybe Jon would fire him? No, Jon wouldn't do that, they had known each other too long and besides he was the best they had! He shook his head and concentrated on the job at hand. He was tired more than ever before, but there was a deadline to meat.

He looked up at Roskov staring at him. "What?"

"Nothing sir, will ….."

He saw Kelly shake her head.

"…….will you give me a hand?" He meant to ask if Degra will be joining, but, it probably wasn't the best idea.

"Now? Sorry, yes of cause, lets see what you've done so far."

"Well." Roskov picked up the small fragile screen. " I…"

"I wanted to apologise for earlier." Someone spoke from behind.

Trip would recognise that voice anywhere.

"Degra, I don't remember giving you permission for entering."

"The Captain did that...I just, I've never met someone personally effected before."

"Leave."

"What?"

"Leave now, some advice."

Degra looked the man up and down. The wounds ran deeper than anyone could know. He felt deep pity for this human, and guilt, knowing that he had been partly at fault.

"Archer told me that I could help…if it was alright with you….I suppose."

"Let me explain, you killed my sister, the only thing that is stopping me from attacking you right now is the example it will set my team, so, some advice I suggest you take, leave!" He had to clamp his teeth down to stop the yells from escaping.

How dare this man waltz in here thinking that he'll apologize, and that'll be it!

Degra wondered for a while if he should reply, but realised, that giving this man's state, and the fact he didn't want a black eye, turned to leave.

Trip leaned on the consol and hung his head, trying to keep back the anger hate, and sadness that was welling up inside.

"Sir?" Roskov asked gently.

"I'm fine!" He certainly didn't sound it, his voice was harsh and croaky. He could feel his eyes burn as he held back the tears. This was for his sister. This was for Lizzie.

"Maybe you should rest." They all knew that Trip's little sister had been one of those killed, and although he tried to act the same, it was obvious how much it had effected him, and now he may be forced to work with Degra, that pain ad hate he had focused on the Xindi to get through this for so long was having to be rethought. It was tearing him apart.

"No!" he snapped. "We have to get this done." He saw the concern in his friend's eyes. "I'm fine, honest, and if anything should do me good it's our engines!" He brought a smile to everyone.

He turned back to the warp engine. Nothing was aright. His sister was dead, and now, his best friend was forcing him to work with Degra! How could he do that! How had they drifted apart?

He headed for the doors.

"Sir? Where are you going?"

"Captain's quarters!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4.**

Trip stormed down the corridor. How could Archer do that? He knew Trip hated Degra! Things of what to say rushed through his head, he had a strong point. No. Wait. No matter what had just happened Archer was still his friend, and he knew that now, more than ever, they all needed support. But still, Archer had no right to say that! Engineering is his department! The one place he can get away from it all, and now……He took a deep breath. He wasn't thinking clearly.

It was then that he noticed the room was spinning. That couldn't be right. He put a hand against the wall and shuck himself. He hadn't slept for days on end. Just take it one step at a time. Scrunching up his eyes he pushed himself upright and carefully trod his way down the corridor. He couldn't take a break, the ship had a tone of repairs still to be done, and besides, every time he closed his eyes, he saw Lizzie.

He had made it to Archer's door when he had second thoughts. Maybe he should just go back to engineering. But that was a long way, and he knew that if he tried to go much further he would collapse. He'd be fine after he sat down. He pressed the chime and was soon replied with a groggy voice. He wasn't the only one feeling sleepy.

"Cap'n" He entered

"Trip, I was about to come and see you, the armory could do with some upgrades. If you could get them done within the next few hours it would be great!"

"I'll get right on it." He was about to turn to leave, when he remembered there was a reason he had come. "Cap'n!"

"Yes?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Degra." Now that he was actually face to face with Archer, he didn't feel so much like arguing his point.

Jon sighed. He knew this was coming, but he didn't really have time right now. "Trip, can we talk about this later?"

"It's just that." Trip wanted to get a quick point across. "You know I hate him, yet you told him he could just waltz into MY DEPARTMENT!" He stopped to calm down. "Why didn't you ask me first?" The answer was obvious. Archer hadn't asked him first, because he knew exactly what the reply would have been.

"Trip, he just wanted to apologies."

"Yeh, sorry I killed your sister among 7 million!"

"Trip!"

"Sorry, I….." A wave of dizziness hit him. "I'd better start on those upgr…ades." He wobbled slightly as everything blurred.

"Trip?" Archer put his hand out to steady his friend. The old friendship between them showing again as concern grew upon his face.

"I'm fine." He brushed his friends hand to one side. But he soon found that staying upright was a much harder task than he had expected.

Archer smiled remembering how stubborn his friend could be. "Trip, when was the last time you slept?" There was a pause, while the engineer tried to remember. "That long?" Archer rolled his eyes.

"Jon, this ship is falling apart!"

"And if you had help from Degra you'd get things done faster."

"Cap'n please do not start...do...don't start that up again. We can't trust hiiiiii..." Archer had to catch him fast as he lost his balance.

"Trip?" Archer steadied his friend, the worry evident in his voice. He knew he had been pushing his engineer. They all needed to work more to get this done on time.

"Sorry Cap'n."

"Get some sleep."

"Cap'n" Trip straightened himself up. "I'm fine, besides, I've gotta do those upgrades."

"Trip! Get some sleep. That's an order!" He meant it gently, but spoke firm. Trip just stared at him for a while and looked as though he was about to protest, when he realized that he would loose, and he quite simply, didn't have the energy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5.**

_He could feel the heat on his back, the breeze in his hair, and he knew. He was back at Florida. A smile spread across his face. Was here anywhere more beautiful? (on Earth)_

_He heard a familiar voice and spun round. It was Lizzie. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. It had been so long. He'd missed her so much, he just wanted to run up and hug her. He'd already planned how he was going to tell his family and friends of their adventures. He could imagine her face when she sees the pictures he'd taken. She'd love them. Camera, where was his camera? He searched his pockets for it, when a loud bang made him jump. The Earth started shaking. Lizzie. She always hated storms, she must be terrified! But when he looked up, he found he found that he himself was frozen to the spot. There right in front of him was a large cloud, bigger than tilde wave, bigger than anything he'd ever seen. Swallowing up anything that was in it's path, and it was heading straight towards them_

_. Lizzie! She didn't even seem to notice. She was just sitting there, reading her favourite book in the sun, like a normal day._

_"Lizzie!" he tried shouting at her. "Move, we've gotta run,. Now!" It had no effect. She couldn't hear him. "Lizzie, move!" he yelled. "Please!" He was almost begging now_

Malcolm was walking past Trip's quarters when he heard screaming. He'd better check. He pressed the door chime. No response, and the yells were getting louder. More desperate.

"Trip?" He knocked this time. More like pounded the door. "Trip! Can you here me?" That was it. He punched in the override code and dashed in. The site which greeted him brought nerves in his stomach. There was his friend, tossing on the bed, fighting some invisible enemy. He was jerking around madly, yelling, sweating. Malcolm had never seen Trip so scared before. The sadness for the death of his sister was great, and it showed now. He went to Tucker's side.

"Trip? Wake up!" He tried shaking his companion, but it came to no effect. "TRIP!"

_. He could see the huge cloud coming loser and closer at an incredible speed. "Lizzie!" he yelled as it swallowed her up, right in front of him "NOOOOOOO!"_

Commander Tucker bolted upright. The sweat pouring down his face. Tears stained his cheeks, his breaths came in huge rasps.

"Trip? The sound almost made him leap out of his skin. He turned and met Malcolm kneeling by his side. Immediately he felt guilty and ashamed. He knew he must have been shouting again, and right now he didn't exactly look his best. He never wanted anyone to see him this way. Out of eh embarrassment, anger came.

"Malcolm! What are you doing here?" He through his legs over the side of his bed and reached for a glass of water. His hands were still shaking uncontrollably.

"I heard you….." There was no need to finish the sentence. "I thought I'd better come and see how you were."

"I'm fine!"

"Trip! You're a mess. Your pale, sweating and your still shaking!"

"I just had a bad dream that's all, not that it's any of your business!"

"No Trip. A bad dream is what makes you wake up early in the night. What you had has words to describe it! You were terrified! Trip. What was it about?"

"I told you it's none of your business!"

"It was about Lizzie wasn't it."

Trip just looked around. Careful to avoid Malcolm.

"Trip, you've got to talk to someone about this! It's tearing you apart!"

"Mal.."

"You can deny it as much as you want but it's obvious."

"Malcolm!"

The Officer looked his friend in the eyes, trying to figure him out. "I just want you to know, that I'm here if you need to talk."

The engineer sighed. He had been harsh on Malcolm. He was only trying to help. But this was his problem, for him to sort out. Besides, the crew had much bigger things to deal with.

"Thanks." he whispered. "I need to get back to work."

He got up, looking at the clock. Only 0400 hours. He had been asleep for half an hour. Maybe he'd go and have some coffee first.


	6. Chapter 6

**Facing the facts.**

**Chapter 6. (sorry it was a while)**

"AAAA!" Trip jerked back his hand, flailing it about. "Second time this morning!" he said through gritted teeth whilst examining the wound. It wasn't bad, just a mild burn. But it certainly stung. Lack of sleep and stress was causing him to make careless mistakes. Painful mistakes at that! Plus EPS grids weren't exactly his thing and this was the second one he'd had to try and fix this week! Not to mention, it was just a painful reminder that…..

"Commander?"

Great, Trip thought to himself.

"You should go to sickbay and get that treated." T'pol looked over his shoulder.

"It's only mild."

"At least get some pain medication."

"I barely feel a thing." A lie of cause, but anything to get her off his back! She'd been worried about him ever since he told her how he felt about Lizzie. And, to be honest, he'd been avoiding her because he felt almost embarrassed about it. What was it but another emotion to her anyway? No, he shook himself, he knew she cared.

Sensing his irritation, she decided it was best to just get straight to the topic.

"Malcolm told me about…I was wondering if…."

Trip rolled his eyes. He should have known Malcolm would spill the beans on him. "Really. Told you about what?"

Now it was T'pols turn to roll her eyes. Why did he have to be so stubborn all the time? "Trip!" She stared him right in the eyes. If that didn't get his attention, then what would?

"It was a nightmare, every human has them and especially in a place like this." He waved his hands in the air referring to the Expanse.

"It was about Lizzie."

Trip stopped what he was doing. "Exactly how much exactly did Malcolm tell you?"

T'pol just looked around, hoping she hadn't got Lt. Reed in trouble. Trip seeing this decided to lighten the mood.

"I hope I didn't scream to loudly." He said, getting back to work. "Must have sounded like a sheep!" He tried to put on a week smile. Did T'pol just smile too? Nah!

"You haven't had much sleep then."

"I thought that came with the _assumption_."

"Vulcans don't make assumptions!" T'pol came on the defensive. Trip couldn't help smile. Even here, he enjoyed winding her up.

"Off cause not." he said, a grin still clear on his face. She frowned at him, but continued. "I was wondering if you would like another session.

"I thought you were avoiding those since…."

"You seemed capable to continue on your own, but, it looks you could use a little help."

Trip looked at his work, a thoughtful expression planted on his face. "I have a lot of work to do, I'm not sure if I have the time."

"Commander, your lack of sleep is just going to get worse, at some point you are going to make a huge mistake which could end up in someone getting hurt! It would be illogical to continue in your current condition."

She got him there. He thought about sulking, but decided that it was probably not the best thing to do. He had jobs to be done, and, by the sound of it, his time was going to be limited further. "Fine." He sighed.

"What time would be the most suitable for you?"

"I don't know, give me a couple of hours."

"We'll meet in my room in 0200 hours."

"It's a ….." Date was probably the wrong word to use. "a privilege." He smiled, innocently.

**Next chapter coming soon.**

**Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7.**

"Sir." Reed took a step inside the Captain's room by the bridge.

"Malcolm, I don't really have much time right now, could this wait?"

"No Sir." Archer stared at him. He had expect this from Trip but not Malcolm. "I think it's waited long enough." He tried to explain.

"Exactly what has waited Lt.?"

"It's about Trip Sir."

This caught his attention. "What about Trip?" Reed thought he saw concern in those eyes.

"He's been having."

"Go on."

"Nightmares Sir."

"Nightmares?" If there was concern. It wasn't there anymore. "Malcolm, every one has nightmares, I'd be worried if he didn't have nightmares."

"It's not any ordinary nightmares sir, and it's to do with his reactions."

"Malcolm, everyone is behaving differently now, it's hard for them all." This seemed rediculas now.

"But especially Trip!" He couldn't believe how ignorant the Captain was being. This wasn't like him. He cared about the Commander! They'd risked their lives to save each other. But that all seemed forgotten now. "Incase you'd forgotten his Sister was killed in the attack!" He closed his mouth, backing down. He'd gone too far, yelling at the Captain. Maybe he shouldn't have come. Then he remembered the sight of Trip last night. The fear and pain on his face. His screams ripping through him.

"I know." This was different from the sharp answer he'd been expecting. It sounded pained almost.

Daring to break the silence, Malcolm pushed further. "I found him screaming in his sleep. About her. He was practically crying. That's the sort of thing he's been keeping bottled up all this time. It was no nightmare, far worse. I've never seen anyone so scared before in my live."

The truthwas that Jon had been trying so hard to keep backwhat was pouncing at him. Trip's loss. But he didn't have time for this one individual, he had their planet to save! No matter how many times he told himself that, it didn't make it any easier.

"Thank you Malcolm. You are needed in the armory." He straightened up. "You'll need some help for the repairs there I'd suspect." And left before Reed could get any more of his opinion out.

Malcolm sat in the mess hall, or what was left of it. Through the scraps and twists of mettle, he had found a table. Not many people came here any more. Most were still working and when off duty they decided that they didn't want to spend it surrounded by heaps mettle burning wired. He stared at his cup of coffee, although to be honest, he'd probably forgotten it was there. All sorts of thoughts were rushing through his head. Did Archer know about rip? Did he care? How could he get him to care? Have they fallen out? Was he in trouble for yelling? What could he do to help Trip? The list went on and on causing him a headache.

"Can I sit here?" Hoshi stood by an empty seat. "Lt!"

Malcolm jumped at the use of hi name. "Wha….? Oh yes, sorry Hoshi." He indicated tom the chair. "Be my guest."

"You seemed to be miles away?"

"Oh, just thinking about up-grades."

"Malcolm, if you were thinking about up-grade for your weapons then you would be pestering everyone for their opinion!"

Malcolm couldn't help smile at that.

"Is anything bothering you?"

"Not _me."_

_"_I don't follow."

"It's nothing."

"Lt? You can always talk to me, you know that." She looked into his eyes, as though he was trying to look inside, watching for any problems.

"It's Commander Tucker."

"I thought he'd handled Liz's death quite well."

"That's the thing. He's been keeping it all bottled up inside. He needs to let it go."

Hoshi looked at her plate of food pushing it around with her fork. Keeping something that big locked away must be tearing the Commander apart. He ahd been keeping to himself recently. She'd assumed that it was because of al of the work, but usually, he'd have down something to bring a smile on their faces. But how could he do that if he needed cheering up himself.

"I found him screaming in his sleep." Malcolm felt the anger rise inside.

Hoshi couldn't keep the shock from her face. "What about the Captain. Surly he'd want to help Trip!"

"I told him. He knows. And he refuses to do anything to help. He's to busy with the ship!" He snorted.

"Well, it is a lot of pressure." She reasoned. She felt a weight being out here, but being The Captain! That's pressure.

"I supposed so. But just a few words of comfort to let Trip know he's there for him. They always helped each other out before. And now Trip needs his advice more than ever, and he's not there. I don't get it."


	8. Chapter 8

**Please review! Advice is welcome.**

**Chapter 8.**

Trip stood in front of the door. This was silly. He didn't have time to mess around getting tangled in new positions. But the truth was, he had feelings for this woman, he just didn't want to admit it. The more he avoided her, the less he had to face his emotions. She was a Vulcan, no way could she feel for him, what he felt for her. He was just an experiment to her! But then, he was sure he noticed a few hints here and there. Either that or wishful thinking.

"Here goes." He pressed the door chime and was answered almost straight away. Holding his breath, he crossed the threshold. "Hi T'pol." He smiled hoping he didn't look too tired all this could take longer. He didn't have much time to spare.

"Commander." She greeted "Take a seat.!" She indicated to a caution placed on the floor. He did so. "Remove your shirt." He paused at first, but did as she had asked. She moved behind him and stuck her fingers on his back, pressing hard. Her hands were cold at first.

"Relax." She ordered.

Relax? They were stuck in the middle of the Expanse rushing as fast as they could to a counsel to try and persuade the Xindi not to destroy The Earth! His sister was dead, murdered and he was expected to work with one of the people responsible! And he had to somehow keep the ship from falling apart. How could anyone relax in that position?

"What is wrong?" Came a commanding voice.

"Nothing." He mumbled.

"You are tense, what is the matter."

"Nothing."

"This is childish!"

"You're the one who suggested it!"

"I meant the way you are behaving. There is clearly something bothering you yet when I offer to talk you sulk!"

"I am not sulking."

She rolled her eyes. "Trip, the session will not work if you tense up."

Did she just call him what he thought she did? "What?"

"I said it won't work if you…."

" No, you called me Trip."

She paused for a minute, trying to come up with something clever to say, but with nothing coming to mind, she changed the topic back to his problems " Commander, I simply want to help you. What is bothering you?"

"There's nothing you don't already know. And who can relax out here? Besides, I'm picking up some frustration from you!"

"Vulcans don't express…"

"They don't express emotions. I know. But, I'm sure even you have been a bit up-tight recently."

"As you said." She pushed harder. "Who can relax in The Expanse. Also, I haven't had much time to meditate."

He turned to face her. Forcing her to look into his eyes and for a moment, he thought eh saw something, but the next second all signs of emotion were gone. "Why did you schedule this session if you needed time to meditate?"

"The health of the engineer is more important than…."

"No no no. You are second in command. Now give me the truth."

"I have time top meditate after this, if you allow me to proceed then the session won't be so long."

Trip could take a hint and let her fingers trace his spine. He immediately felt relaxed, or as relaxed as he had been since the attack. How did she do that?

"I appreciate this." He added, feeling he at least owed her a thank you.

"It isn't exactly something I dread, but your welcome."

"Oh, by the way, I need your help on an analysis of the hull plating."

"I can help you tomorrow."

"That's fine." He smiled remembering the first time they did an analysis together. He practically bit her head off! Wow she had changed since then, but then, they all had.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thankyou to everyone who has made comments. **

**Keep reviewing.**

**Chapter 9.**

Trip made his way along the ship's corridor, bleary eyed. His session with T'pol had worn of ages ago. He had no idea what he was running on. People in engineering seemed to have gotten the idea of not to bug him about it, besides, they looked as if they could do with a little more sleep themselves.

Every now and then things would start to spin, he'd feel light headed, but it wore off after a while. Right now though, he was having to clutch at the wall for support as another wave hit him. This one, however, was much stronger than the others. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing it to go away.

"T'pol to Commander Tucker." Where had that noise come from? He opened his eyes but almost fell over from the sight of a spinning room.

"Commander Tucker." It was the comm! Slowly he allowed himself to let go of the wall and stumble to the other side of the corridor. It seemed to take years to reach.

"Tucker here." He forced himself to say, but his voice still sounded slurred.

"Commander, we agreed to meet in engineering 10 minutes ago." Did he detect a hint of concern?

"S, sorry." He swallowed. "I'll be there in a sec." Before she could say anything else, he cut her off and slid to the floor. Just a few secs, then he'd get up. Just till everything stops swimming around and round and round. His head fell into his hands.

"Stop, please stop."

After what seemed an eternity things started to come back to focus.

T'pol! He stood up, a bit too fast causing him to nearly fall over again.

"I'm late!" He groaned as heforced himself to engineering. Each step harder than the last.

T'pol was looking over the data for the hull plating listening to Archer's instructions. Little of what the Captain said went in though. She was thinking about Trip. It wasn't like him to be late and his voice had sounded so, distant over the comm. Wait. Why was she pondering over this human? Was she, concerned? Did that mean that she liked him? She shook herself, desperate to get a grip over these emotions. But still. Her mind wondered. And the more she thought about it, the more she worried.

Finally Trip entered the room. The huge temperature change hit him causing things to go blurry. He had to struggle not to show how weak he was. He was surprised to see Jon here, better make a good appearance. Straightening himself up, ignoringthe spinning room,he marched up to them. An excuse. He had to come up with an excuse!

"Sorry I'm late. I lost track of time." He glanced at the pair hoping that they bought it. They seemed to, because T'pol began explaining what was up on the screen.

"This shows where the hull is strongest. Here you can see is a particularly week point. She pointed to a spot near the bridge."

"Ok, so next time we go in a fight, tell Travis to get on top."

"What if there are two?" Archer asked from behind.

Trip nearly jumped out of his skin. He'd forgotten he was there. "How many fights are we expecting to get into?"

"We're in the Expanse and hopefully nearing the weapon."Jon pointed out.

"I meant in the next couple of days."

"We need to be prepared."

"That's fine with me. But I'm saying that we have alot ofother things to fix as well."

"Make this a priority."

So that goes among about 100 other things. Trip thought to himself.

As though she was reading his mind T'pol Said. "I'll assist you."

"Well, I guess we better get a mooove ooooon" The warpengine seemed to tilt onto its side and people walked on the ceilings.

"Commander." He was snapped out of his hallucinations.

"Yes Sir?"

" I asked you to give me a report on this s soon as possible."

"Yes Siiiirrr." He put out a hand to steady himself.

"Commander!" T'pol held onto him to keep him up-right. Even Archer looked worried.

"Trip, I though I ordered you to get some sleep."

" I did Cap'n but." He straightened himself as things went back to normal.

"You're alright?"

"I'm fine, just finding it a little hot in here Sir."

Archer looked at him as though he could see into his mind and pick out the truth. "Well, in that case, Travis says that the Helm is acting up a bit. When you have time, I'd like you to take a look at it."

Trip thought he heard someone talking to him, but it didn't make any sense . He felt a great weight on his body. Did he hear someone shout his name? He thought, as everything went blank.

Archer and T'pol stared in horror as they saw Trip collapse.

"Trip!" T'pol dashed to his side followed by a shocked Captain.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it was a while.**

**Anonymous readers can now review my work. **

**Please review. Thanks to those who have. Advice is welcome.**

**Chapter 10.**

She felt the quick flutter of a pulse beneath her fingers, watched the rapid movement of his chest. Stared at his shut eyes, willing him to relax.

T'pol had been standing by Trip's side in Sickbay since they brought him here from engineering. She couldn't explain it, but seeing him now, unconscious, flopped over a bio-bed, was…unsettling. She felt something in the pit of her stomach, something unnerving. She didn't like it. Partly because she knew that she shouldn't be experiencing it, partly because she knew that it was proving only what she had been denying all these months. It was fear. Fear for this one individual. She cared for him, not just as a friend. She knew that a human and Vulcan could never happen, but it didn't stop these feelings growing deep inside of her. The feelings had overwhelmed her time from time, but this human, he made her feel….. happy. She had come to enjoy the sessions with him. And know, watching him, she was afraid that she would not be able to tell him that.

Phlox looked up from his work to once again see the Vulcan standing there, as though she were a mother protecting her baby. He sighed. He had been aware of something going on between the two for quite some time now. This only proved his theories.

"T'pol." He called. No response. "Sub-commander." Her head shot up, eyes darting around the room eventually coming to rest on the Doctor.

"You don't have to stay, I will call you if he wakes up."

He thought he saw something in her eyes at the word, if. Maybe not the best wording in the world. "He will be fine." He walked over to the Science officer.

"How are you coping with the trillium?"

"I'm fine Doctor." She fought hard to keep her voice flat. "In fact, I was wondering if maybe I should assist you to help the Commander."

Aaaaaa, young love. Phlox thought to himself. "T'pol, The Commander will be quite alright, I've told you it's just……" He looked up at the sound of the sickbay doors opening.

"AAAA, Captain."

Archer strode across the room wasting no time. "How is he?"

"It's nothing to get worried about. It is simply lack of sleep."

Archer looked up at that. Slightly puzzled. Not knowing whether to be relieved or angry.

"I ordered him to get some sleep!" He glanced at his Commander. T'pol had returned to her pace by him.

"As did I, and T'pol has given him Neuro-pressure sessions."

"So this could have been avoided if he'd simply followed our orders."

"Actually Captain. I think he did try to follow them."

"I don't follow."

"I don't know if I should be telling you this, it is Doctor Patient confidentiality."

At that Archer looked quite worried. "Phlox, is there something wrong with Trip?"

"Well…" He was interrupted by a loud groan from the bed, which was son followed by a short sharp yelp.

Phlox went to the Commander, checking his vitals. "His heart rate is increasing."

"Why?" Archer came up behind.

"He's having a nightmare Captain."

Nightmare? It was then that he remembered what Malcolm had told him earlier on.

"I'm guessing he has these often?"

"That is correct."

"He hasn't been able to get to sleep, because of these." Archer sighed. He should have listened to Reed. Then maybe he would have talked to Trip about it. But did he have the time? He jumped as Trip let out another cry. His body tossing. Fists clenched tightly into balls. Sweat was rapidly forming on his forehead and his breathe came in huge gasps. Trip was terrified.

T'pol stood there, her eyes never leaving his face, her hands clenching his. She seemed to be calming him in some way. But how? They couldn't tell.

"T'pol." Phlox prepared a hypo-spay, I need you to help Archer hold him down while I inject him with this. Finally T'pol pulled her eyes away from The Commander who was now jolting violently.

Almost immediately after she turned away the Commander let out a scream. "Move!" He yelled. Jon thought he saw tears.

Here!" Phlox bustled over holding a hypo-spray."

"Lizzie!"

Phlox injected him. Trip's body went limp and the room fell silent.

Jon stood back not knowing what to make of it.

"I better get back to work." He stammered. "Let…."

"I'll let you know when he waked up."

Archer nodded his thanks and left.

He marched down the corridor trying to walk of this constant feeling of guilt. He should have done something sooner. Why hadn't Trip told him? He felt slightly betrayed by that. But then, he should have noticed the signs. No, they were all tired, and he was busy. But still, that didn't block it. The thing he had heard. The thing he just left Trip to deal with on his own. He thought he was over it by now, but clearly he had been wrong. It kept on playing over and over in his mind, what Trip had said.

"Lizzie."

T'pol still stood by his side. Fighting for both his and her control.


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry it's been a while, I have exams.**

**Chapter 11**

T'pol felt a slight tremor as the engines were once again pushed into action. Maybe she should report to the bridge, just to see what was happening. But as she pulled away a slight groan could be heard from the bio-bed, as though in protest. She went to his side immediately, taking his hand in hers. His face scrunched up as though he were in pain.

"Ssshhhh." She pushed his fair hair to one side carefully, her eyes never leaving his face. The sliding of the sickbay doors brought her out of the trance.

"T'pol! I'll come back later if you want…." Malcolm turned to leave.

"No. I don't mindyou being here. You may stay."

Reed walked up to her side and stared at the sleeping Commander.

"Has he had any…?"

"Yes, Phlox had to sedate him." Her words shuddered at the memory of seeing her….. companion so scared, the look of terror on his face haunting her.

"I'm surprised he didn't collapse earlier. He can be so stubborn at times."

T'pol focused on her companion knowing all too well that what Malcolm had just said was true. They had argued on more accounts than she could remember.

The ship suddenly lurched forward forcing them both to one side.

"I'd better get to my station." Reed mumbled as he ran out of the room. T'pol turned to go but was stunned to hear her name called to her.

"T'pol?" Turning round she saw the Engineer struggling to sit up.

"Commander!" She ran to his side and forced him back down. "You must re-est."

She was tossed onto his legs and Trip almost rolled out of bed as the ship shuddered.

"What's going on?"

"Relax." She straightened up.

"Not till I've saved my engines." He through his legs over the side of the bed only to be hit by a wave of dizziness.

"Commander. You are not well enough." She pulled him back onto the bed.

"There's nothing wrong with me!"

"You need to sleep! Tr… Commander!" She shoved his body down surprising him with her Vulcan strength. "You collapsed from lack of sleep, doing so again would not be logical." She lectured him.

Feeling another wave hit him, he rested his head on a pillow and shut his eyes. Maybe she was right.

"Take deep breaths." She instructed.

After a while the sickening feeling left.

"You were there." He whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"I was dreaming, about Lizzie, I was scared, then you came and, I wasn't afraid anymore."

She looked away. She knew exactly what had happened. She had reached through to him with a bond.

"I spoke to you, maybe your brain put that into your dream." She excused their relationship.

He nodded his head. "Thanks."

"You're quitewelcome."

"Hess report!" Archer stabbed at the comm after Travis pulled them out of warp.

"I wouldn't advice pushing the engines in this part of space Captain!"

Archer closed his eyes. They all knew too well what happened to the engines. He looked up at Travis.

"How long?"

"This anomaly isn't too big. We should clear it without Warp in just over an hour."

Archer rubbed his face. An hour. What time did they have to spare?

"We'll keep it steady for the time being." With that he closed the link and let put a deep sigh leaning back against his seat. They'd been in the Expanse for months now, almost a year, and still coming close to a Xindi ship sent his stomach to his throat.

He needed to get some sleep, but first…

He stood up and headed for the turbo lift.

"Sir? Where are you going?"

"To see a friend, something I should have done a long time ago."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12.**

He walked briskly down the corridor going through what he should say in his head over and over. Glancing at his watch he realized he had left the bridge a minute ago. A whole minute! _Keep calm, he's not going anywhere. _But he still quickened the pace. However, once he reached the sickbay doors, he had second thoughts. Maybe he should just leave, he'd be causing more trouble. Trip probably doesn't want to see him. What if he's having another nightmare? No. He shuck himself. He owed this to Trip, as a friend.

The doors opened too fast, not giving him enough time to prepare. By the time he had crossed the threshold his whole speech was forgotten.

Trip was awake! Part of him felt disappointed, looking for an excuse not to come. T'pol was here!

"Sorry." He mumbled, slightly startling the unaware Vulcan. "I'll come back later."

Now he did have an excuse he felt guilty.

"It is quite alright." T'pol finally managed to pull herself away from the Commander. "I've been here long enough, I have some work to attend to." She looked at Trip one last time, who's eyes seemed to plead with her to stay. But she had already guesses the purpose of the Captain's visit, and knew that this was long overdue. Caressing his hand one final time, her body hiding her affection from Archer's view, she turned to leave, glancing at the Engineer as the doors blocked him from her view.

Trip stared at the ceiling twiddling his thumbs in anxiety. This was his best friend for crying out loud! He thought to himself. He shouldn't be nervous. But he was.

Archer cautiously made his way to his friend's side, all of his preparation failed him now. "Hi Captain. " Trip gave his acknowledgement. Captain. Archer thought. Not Cap'n.

"Trip, I wanted to speak to you about something." Just get straight to the point.

"Go ahead."

"I wanted to apologize."

"What for?" Trip now turned his head, looking at Archer. "Captain, it was my fault I collapsed."

"It's not about that Trip. Well, it's connected I guess." He searched his mind trying to find the right words. Then he realized he was trying to be too organized. In a situation like this, you speak from the heart.

"I neglected you, ignored you when you needed my help."

"Captain? I think I can handle myself. I don't need babysitting."

Jon rolled his eyes. "Trip. I talking about when Lizzie……"

"Oh." The Commander just looked away again.

_You're loosing him! _"What I'm trying to say is. I know that it was a hard time for you….."

Trip opened his mouth, about to say something in protest, but Archer held up his hand. "…and I should have been there to talk to you about it. There's no logic in denying it Trip. You were up-set; you'd be a fool not to be. It's not weak to accept that. I should have been there for you and I wasn't. But I want you to know that I am now."

"Logic?" The charming smile grew on his face. "Aren't your ears getting a little pointy?"

"Trip."

Tucker looked at the wall, his hands, the monitor. Anywhere but at his friend. He hated talking about **her**. He just wanted to bury those memories. But Archer knew his friend too well and wasn't about to let him get away with it.

"Trip. You can't avoid this forever. I thought I could. I said I had too much work to spend time with you., but I was wrong, and look where that has gotten you. Nightmares."

"Malcolm." Trip growled.

Archer chose to ignore that. "Collapsing because of sleep loss. Trip! Ignoring it is only going to make it worse. Talk to me here."

Trip looked into his friend's eyes, and saw how serious he was. "You're right." He gasped. "You weren't there. But I never asked you to be. Trust works both ways. You're not the only one to blame."

"I knew there was something bothering you, yet I kept on piling on the work and expected you to get on with it."

"Are you trying to make me hate you?" It really did sound to him as though Archer was trying to makehimself sound bad. Maybe he didn't want to be let off so easily.

"But I saw you being torn apart inside and I did nothing."

"And I ignored it."

"Talk to me now then." Silence. "Let's start with Degra."

Archer saw Trip's fists clench at the name, fighting to control the anger which rose inside. Good, he'd hit a nerve. "What have you got against him?" The answer was obvious, but Trip needed to say it.

"He's a, a Xindi." He was trying to avoid the matter.

"And……"

"You know….he, he helped to launch the attack on Earth. Destroyed people's lives, Florida!" His voice began to raise, failing to control the emotion. "He just sat back and watched the show I guess. He did nothing to stop it. He watched 7ooooooo people die and did nothing! He helped to kill, murder, and we're trusting him. Doesn't anyone care! 7000000 Captain. My home town." Archer saw tears form. "…my….my Baby Sister." He spluttered out the words. Trying to stop the tears but without success. "I'm sorry ."

"It's alright to mourn her Trip." Archer rested a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, and was glad to see Trip except it in his own.

"She, she had so much promise. She was so young. You'd have loved to have met her. She is….**was** a lovely person."

"I'm sure she was."

"And now she's gone! Just like that. Incinerated without a care in the world! I should have been with her."

"Trip!" Archer stared him directly in the eyes. "That wouldn't have done any good. You would have died too!"

"But she was alone. I keep seeing her. Sitting there. And then it ..it just engulfs her….gone just like that." He flailed a hand in the air.

The nightmares Archer thought back.

"I'm just standing there. I can't get her out the way. I feel as though, if only ...I should have done something!"

"Trip. There was nothing you could have done."

"But I'm her big brother; I'm supposed to protect her!" He spat the words out angrily.

"You knew nothing about what was going to happen. None of us did. And I know you were the perfect brother to her." No way was he going to let his best friend blame himself for this.

Trip nodded.

"Remember the good times you had?"

"You sound just like my mother." He gasped. Sniffing.

"I, oh…"He smiled. "I , I. ..ha…I covered her bed in plastic spiders…You should have seen her face!"

"I can imagine, it sounds like something you'd do." Jon laughed.

"I can't help but think of out last words." Trip looked at his hands, as though he was holding a letter. "I hadn't seen her in ages…gosh I miss her…."

"An argument?" He dreaded the answer.

"No. But…I….I never told her how amazing she was, how brave she was, how I would never have gotten to where I am today if it weren't for her. I hadn't seen her for years. I didn't even get to say goodbye." He lent on Jon's shoulder.

"She knows Trip." Jon let his friend cry on him. Finally letting all the memories and despair that had been bottled up inside all these months be released. Jon couldn't imagine how hard that must have been. But at least now, Trip could move on.

Trip felt it drain from him. "Thank you, Cap'n"#

* * *

**I have an idea for an epilogue, where it joins onto the episode The Council. I know I've missed out E2. Each Chapter is a scene, dodging round what happens in the series in-between The Forgotten and The Council. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**Please let me know what you think! Does it go by too fast, should I have written more, and where? **

**Advice is always welcome. I need to learn if I am to improve.**


End file.
